Thursday, November 13, 2008

Some people are RIDICULOUSLY two faced

OK, so...well...I guess to fully understand my title to this entry, you have to know some of the story. I know someone, who did something rather thoughtless, unfair, selfish and tormenting to another individual who I cared about deeply. I choose to keep all persons nameless, because I am none of the above mentioned things. So, this person, who I have met maybe 2 (once I was keeping her from falling, the second time she was stalking me to a gas station) so needless to say, before the above mentioned situation, her and I had little good common ground. I dont hate her, have no reason too.ok I lied I have reason to, but being the kind loving person I am, I dont hate. So now that you have the back ground story...without further is my rant.

It bothers me when people complain about being judged by others when everthing you have ever heard out of their mouth is stipulation and judgement. Ugh. Drives me nuts. I cant stand fake people. Those people who think that their mistakes and ugliness toward other people shoudnt be held against them. I dont believe certain people get what they deserve, and I also think many get more than they derserve. I guess my point in this rambling is: If you gonna judge, expect to be judged in return, and dont run your mouth about how "unfair" you think it is when someone who doesnt know you judges you. You live once. and its Fast, and unruley and unfair and one big beautiful mess. Quit bitchin about how your so f'n poor and picked on because Karma bit you in the ass. Take a look at your one life, thats what needs to be fixed. Sigh....that is all for today. LOVES!!!

Monday, November 3, 2008

People in the past.

Why is it some people have the ability to stay in your present, even when you've thrown them in your past, locked the door, and thrown the key 700 yards past the end of the earth? Is there a secret window, or and unlocked basement door they go through that leads them right back into the living room of your present? There HAS to be. Everyone has a person like this. Whether its a bad friend, a family member who has burned you, and most commonly an ex you want to punch but still hold a place for, so you cant quite find it in you to go for the nose. You get to the point where life is good, you dont notice the absence of their presence and you can function like a normal part of the planet. Fung-shaway is aligned, and you sometimes get that anxiety feeling that nothing is something is quite possibly about to end up there. Then BAM!!! they show up(which is the worst) email, text call, send S.O.S..whatever, they just always manage to show up just when you think you have made it to the wonderful world of "the past is the past" I, personally, have hard time telling this person to go away. I try, and try....and try, and it never quite works. He wiezels his way back into my stapled up heart..damn those cracks. My question is, as many times as this person has hurt me, crushed me, played me, and walked away from me, what maked me hold on? and How the hell do I tell him exactly where to go?! I am open to your ideas....until next time....

Sunday, November 2, 2008

So....Its rainy, cold, and bluntly obvious that any sign of warm weather has said "adios!!" for the next 6 months. BRRRRRR. All I want to be doing is layin in bed with my big comfy pillows, soft fleece sheets. and pale pink blankie I have had since I was a kid. Alas, I am stuck typing in front of this computer screen. Ugh..Oh well make the best of it right? This weekend was a blast. Halloween is my Favorite holiday. Alter-Ego heaven. And this year was by far..THE BEST. I spent it with Steph..aka Kandi Lou, Peppi, and my cousin josh who I just Adore to peices even made an appearance. My friends are the best. All a girly could ask for, the drinks were flowing, cameras snapping memories and laughter filled the air of the crowded space. Life was good. Then...time stopped. In walked the first of only two men to completly break my heart. Oh it gets better. He broke it...but still has a few of the peices. I wish I could say I will get those peices back, but the chances dont look good. He has this way about him....gets under my skin...a year and a half later. That fist gripping, dead lock, skin tooth and nail kind of get under my skin. I was a little shakin up. 3 drinks later...I was My friends held my hand and made sure I kept my feet on the ground and a safe 25 foot distance. We did talk some, as we share mutual friends, making it almost impossible to completly avoid each other in the same establishment. Keeping it short and sweet was the way to go no doubt about it. He looks amazing. And happy. But wait. I looked amazing and happy too. All and all I walked away that night knowing I gave all I could toward what we had and even though I lost him, I looked around that night and saw all the people I didnt lose, all those who stood by me even through the mess that was the end. They knew they couldnt stop the storm..but they walked with me in the rain, and I know how incredibly blessed I am to have all the great people in my life that I do. There is not one day that goes by that I dont thank god That I have them. They make Hilidays,and life in general a much much sweeter experience.